“I can’t go on like this any longer. I’ll be dead in two months if I don’t do something now!”
She was at the end of her rope. Her struggle with addiction, the loss of relationships, and the destruction of her soul was too much to handle any more.
She made it to my office. So that’s a start.
She wasn’t looking for a miracle. Just a little hope. That light in the darkness.
She just needed someone to tell her that she could make it through this.
She needed to believe that she could be a mom again. That the disappointments and hurts could fade. That the lies told could be forgotten.
Now some of you may not know this but I am a family doctor. I treat normal things like diabetes, depression, and back pain. But I also have a special interest in treating alcohol and drug addiction. Hopefully your story won’t be as extreme as the one above. But there is something we can all learn from people that have had to completely turn their life around for the better.
The idea that you can’t change is a lie. And the hardest lies to overcome are the ones we tell ourselves.
And so when life isn’t turning out like you hoped it would, when your story has no chance for a happy ending……
Tell another story.
Here’s how.
How to Break Bad Habits and Start Building Better Ones
1) Start small
We tend to overthink things. Keep it simple.
Concentrate on today’s problems. And make small adjustments.
Every day get a little stronger, a little faster, eat a little better. These small daily changes will pay back exponentially with time.
2) The Long View
Know what your big plan is and realize goals can be flexible.
Have a vision for you life. Then concentrate on the actions you need to take today to make that vision happen.
3) Get out of your comfort zone
Practice changing daily routines. This will help you break out of a rut.
Get up 30 minutes earlier and go for a walk, or meditate, or journal. Take a cold shower. Talk to a stranger.
You might say: But I’m not a morning person, or I can’t sit still for 30 minutes and meditate, or I’m an introvert.
Says who?
Those are just stories you’ve told yourself. Tell yourself a different story.
To be someone different. You need to do something different.
Life is painful. You know that.
Do things that are uncomfortable. Things that are difficult.
You’ll start to see that you have more control over your life than you thought you did.
4) Stay focused (don’t get upset when things don’t work out)
There’s going to be trial and error.
So what.
You’re going to fail.
So what.
People might think you’re weird.
So what.
Do you know what inspires people? It’s not Instagram models or drugged up bodybuilders. It’s seeing normal people trying new things, being consistent and passionate.
5) Find a friend or if you can’t find one, buy one
Everyone needs someone they can go to when they’re struggling. Someone that won’t judge them. A person that will keep you accountable.
If you’re struggling with drug or alcohol addiction, then you need a sponsor. This means someone that’s been there before, knows what you’re going through, and found a way out themselves. There’s no use re-inventing the wheel. Learn from their mistakes and grow.
Maybe you need a coach or a trainer. Maybe you need a dietician to plan a few meals for you. Or maybe you can just talk to your friend and get them to come on this journey with you.
If you can find someone that’s been where you are and has already gone through the process, then you can learn from their mistakes. And they’ll be happy to help you.
6) Build healthy relationships
Start investing time in the people you love and the people that love you.
No one is perfect. Maybe you’ve been burned before. I get it. But it’s time to start building something new.
This might mean getting out of your comfort zone. Maybe you need to take a break from your phone for a while.
7) Read a book
Try reading a book…..an old fashioned book with pages.
This will help your Attention Deficit Disorder and stretch your brain in a new way.
Maybe you already read a lot. Well that’s good. Try reading something different than your usual.
If you always read romance novels, try a short book of philosophy. If you always read about religion, try a murder mystery. Read a classic. Read an ancient translation. Whatever it is, just read something.
8) IDEAS
James Altucher recommends writing down 10 ideas a day.
I think this is brilliant and it works like magic.
Come up with any category and write down ideas to fill the category. You don’t have to do any of them.
Just try it and let me know what you think.
….
You’ll be surprised at how changing up your routine and daily monotonous self indulgences can refocus your life.
The key to breaking addiction is building a life you don’t want to escape from. It won’t be easy, but what else are you going to do?
So here’s the final thought…
All the rest is nonsense if you miss this one thing….
You have a purpose and God has a plan.
So if you only get one thing from any of this, it’s this….
Reject Apathy. Fight Nihilism. Love your neighbor.
God bless and God speed.
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