A friend once told me…
If he had to pick one word that best described me, it would be confident.
This took me by surprise. I didn’t see myself that way and was shocked that he did.
Most of my life I felt like an outsider. Somehow just lucky enough not to get noticed.
According to the worlds greatest invention, Wikipedia, impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
If you’re not careful, this self doubt can turn into self loathing. And that sinister force will pull you down into some dark places.
Luckily I managed to escape impostor syndrome.
You might be thinking: What right does this guy have to be confident?
It’s a fair question.
I’m short, bald, and have terrible eyesight. I have no athletic ability. I wasn’t first in my class. I am a mediocre musician (even after decades of practice). And I have no obvious talent in anything.
But after I thought about it, I realized something. I am confident. I have some strange sense of self belief that has shaped me into this weird dude……me.
Not because of any talents or specialness.
But because I embrace myself for who I am. I accept what life brings.
And even when I’m unsure of myself….
5 Shockingly Simple Ways to Be More Confident
1) ACT AS IF
ACT AS IF you are whatever you need yourself to be.
ACT AS IF you are the hero of your story. Imagine that the story of your life is a fantastical narrative. One where you have to make the hero’s journey. And in the end what will that story say about how you handled things?
I try to keep a very positive attitude. When things go sideways, I want to hope it’s for a reason. And that it will turn out okay in the end.
I’m not saying FAKE it till you make it. I’m not saying act one way around some people and another way around others.
Always be the real deal.
A simple way to really believe in yourself is to BRAINWASH yourself.
Tell yourself something enough, and you’ll believe it. We do this with negative thinking all the time. Why not use POSITIVITY?
Why not dismiss what the world would call faults and double-down on the fact that God made us just as we are?
Would you tell a 6 year old that they had no talent and no real value? No. Then why tell yourself?
It’s a very simple technique.
Say positive things to YOURSELF.
If you want more confidence. Try this: Start your day with 5 minutes of affirmations, then 5 minutes of meditation. Do this for a few weeks and see how you feel. Be consistent, persistent, and dang near stubborn about it.
2) Purpose is Better than Aimlessness
Find something in your life that gives you meaning and purpose.
And then go after it.
You don’t need big dreams.
If you know you’re doing something for the right reasons, you’re going to have more courage.
Courage isn’t the same as confidence. But it’s a start. (and actually more important)
3) Destroy Your Ego
I recently took up Jiu Jitsu. I’m not very good at it. And I fail…. a lot.
But I never let these failures affect my confidence.
Because life isn’t a competition between me and someone else. It’s a competition with me and my future self.
And the more I do to make my future self better…..well you get the idea.
Learning a new skill and improving over times builds confidence. Because at first you’re going to suck and it’s going to do some damage to your precious little ego.
But that’s okay.
You see, a lot of people think the key is having an inflated ego. But that’s the opposite of what you need.
Sometimes you have to burn your ego to the ground in order to rise up from it’s ashes.
4) Hold your head up/Strength is Better than Weakness
The way you carry yourself matters.
By standing tall, man spreading, and just having general good posture, your body is telling your subconscious that you are strong and ready for whatever is coming.
If you can’t control your mind, change your body.
Your body will then direct your mind.
It’s a fascinating process.
Here’s a practical tip: Go to the gym. Grab a barbell. Get stronger.
Being stronger makes you more confident.
The key is persistence and gradual improvement over time.
I’m not the strongest guy in the gym. But I am stronger than I used to be. And that’s all that matters.
5) Smile
When in doubt…Smile.
You.
Are.
Enough.
You were crafted for a reason. Maybe you don’t believe that. But what’s it hurt to think that way?
Your ancestors survived against all odds to reproduce enough times to bring you to this planet. You have just what you need to survive and thrive.
How cool is that?
So even if you don’t believe in God like I do, you have to admit your existence is quite unique. You’re a survivor. You are strong enough to handle anything.
And if you do believe in God, then you already know that you were made just the way you ought to be.
That doesn’t mean don’t improve. It just means that your so called “flaws” aren’t mistakes or bad luck. They are your design.
…
Look. We’d all like perfect teeth, the right words to say, and a million dollars. But guess what….there are people with all those things and they worry just like the rest of us. Afraid to be themselves.
We all feel like impostors at times.
We’re all guilty of being overwhelmed by our inadequacies.
Sometimes I’m smart and sometimes not.
Some days I’m having a good hair day and some days not.
Some days I have all the energy in the world and some days I just need a good nap.
You can call me a lot of things. It doesn’t matter.
Because whatever I am. I’m me.
And that works just fine.
p.s.
Confidence isn’t the same thing as pride. It’s something different. Like that line from the Avett Brothers’ song:
I wanna have pride like my momma has
And not like the kind in the Bible that turns you bad
p.p.s
If you haven’t signed up for my NEWSLETTER yet, go ahead and get that going. Because, you know…..it’d make me happy. Thanks
This is what I needed today,thanks Dr Park..👍
Thanks for the comment. Keep your head up
Just the kind of positive outlook I’m looking for in my life!