5 Things I’d Do Today if I was Fat and Unhappy in 2024

How’s that gym membership going?

I’m not going to lie…

I like New Year’s Resolutions. I think they help you take inventory of your life. Something that is often ignored by the inertia of existence.

Most people’s Resolutions are the exact same thing.

• Lose weight
• Eat better
• Save some money
• Exercise
• Read more
• Make more money
• Save more money

The list goes on, but you get the point.

So what if instead of setting up your resolutions as wishes, you turned them into a game? Stick with me because this works.

You have to hack your brain to make changes. Here’s what I mean…

Having a specific goal is always better than a generic one. Example: Lose 5 pounds of fat is better than “lose weight”. But having a challenge is even better than a specific goal.

Why is that?

Because when you set up a challenge for yourself, you automatically improve. Often times, your goals aren’t even what you actually want. They’re just what you think you want.

So what am I talking about? What’s a challenge?

A challenge is like a game for yourself. Something you’ll have to do in 30, 60, or 90 days that forces you take action today. Or it can be something small that you have to do daily.

Easy right?

The problem is, you will get bored. Or you’ll lose sight of the challenge. Or you’ll set the bar too high.

Just like with my wife….

I recommend low expectations.

If you’re already running marathons on the weekends or bench pressing 500 pounds or a black belt in Jiu Jitsu, then this isn’t for you. But if you’re a regular person that wants to take their health more seriously and would like a fun place to start…

I’ve got just the thing for you!

#1 The Straight Nine Diet Plan

This diet plan is going to be the foundation for everything you build.

Be careful, because you might find yourself healthier than ever. Some of your meds may need to be reduced. And you’re clothes are going to start to feel baggy.

For nine straight meals, you only eat from this list of nine foods: Beef, eggs, chicken, pork, dairy, blueberries, oranges, apples, white rice.

You can also have butter, salt, peppers, and onions if needed for taste. Drink water, black coffee, or tea.

For your tenth meal, you can go crazy and eat whatever you want as long as it’s just the one meal, Then go back to your straight nine.

Do this for a month and you are going to look better and feel better than ever.

#2 30-40-50 Burpee Challenge

This is a 1 month challenge for couch potatoes.

30 Burpees every day for 10 days, then 40 burpees every day for 10 days, then 50 burpees every day for 10 days.

Need to slow it down? You can make this a 4 month challenge by changing it to 30 burpees for 30 days then 40 for 40 then 50 for 50.

Can’t do a burpee? Just lie down on the ground, do a push up, and stand back up. That’s one.

You don’t have to be fancy or look good doing it.

#3 The 1 Mile Infinity Loop

Walk a mile every day.

Let’s say this takes you 18 minutes. Try to beat your time the next time you walk. Even if it’s just by a second.

Eventually, you’ll be running!

No skipping days. Rain or shine: You’re walking. Have Covid? You’re walking. 15 degrees outside? You’re walking. (Okay those may be extreme. Talk to your doctor before doing something stupid)

This challenge will improve your self discipline.

#4 Mind Control for Beginners

Every. Single. Day: Write down some of your thoughts.

You can do this on your computer or a notebook. I’m going to give you some examples. You can do all of them or none of them.

• List 20 things you’re thankful for
• List 5 ideas that would improve your job or home (You don’t have to do them. This is simply an exercise to stimulate your creativity. It can be something crazy like: Buy everyone at work cotton candy every Friday)
• Write down 5 charities that you’d give $1000 if you won the lottery (then maybe consider giving them $50 if you don’t).
• Write a story about what you did yesterday. It’s okay if nothing happened. Just write it out as if it was a day in a novel.
• List 12 goals. One for every month. Then write out your system for achieving them.
• Write down everything that frustrates you about life. Then write down everything you can do to make it better. Ignore anything out of your control or done by other people.
• Write down your daily work out and mark if off the calendar
• Free write an essay on any topic every day. (Worry not about grammar -punctuation – spellinggg—Just Write)

#5 The Monkey King

A friend once told me that you’ll never change the world with pull-ups and a pop of blue.

My response: Watch me try.

So, How many pull-ups can you do? For this challenge, all you need is to be able to do one. But you’ll need easy access to a pull up bar.

Example:

Day 1 = 1 pull-up

Day 2 = 2 pull-ups

Day 3 = 3 pull-ups

You get the picture right? You’ll do this for 30 days. Now this is not one set. It’s to be done in singles for a max of 30 sets by day 30. That might mean that on day 3 you do 1 pull up at breakfast. One at lunch. And the other at supper.

But doc, I can do more than 30 pull-ups! Great, then add weight. Consider trying this with 45 pounds strapped to your waist.

Now what would happen if you did all of these challenges next month?

Would you be closer or further to your New Year’s Resolutions?

What if you never could get past day 5 of the Monkey King but you ran every day, wrote down prayer requests every day, did your burpees, and followed the diet strict?

• Would your blood pressure improve? Yeah, probably.
• Would your blood sugar be better controlled? Yeah, probably.
• Would you lower your risk of dementia, heart disease, stroke? Yes sir.
• Would you be more likely to quit smoking when your goal is to run a mile every day or do 50 burpees? Yep.
• Would you have more feelings of accomplishment, purpose, and confidence? You know it.
• And the thing everyone actually wants…Will you look better in a speedo? You’re damn right you will.

So what are you waiting for?

Challenge accepted.