One of the problems with treating addiction is that you fail…a lot!
I realized a long time ago that the only way to help was to be patient. And just before you start thinking I’m an awesome doctor, let me tell you, I’m horrible at this.
I tell patients…Stop Doing Drugs! And them I’m shocked when they don’t.
But it’s no different than when I tell myself…Stop EATING ICECREAM. My brain doesn’t care what I tell it. It wants what it wants. And unless I can control it, I’m done for.
I had a good conversation with a friend the other day. She’s trying to fix her life. We talked about how we can’t define ourselves by what happens to us but only by how we respond. I think she’s real close to making a breakthrough.
I mean, life can be tough. And when you’ve put a few years of bad decisions into the mix, you don’t have a whole lot of resources to fall back on.
If you’ve struggled with addiction then you’re probably broke, friendless, and in desperate need of a sense of purpose. (Hang with me, this won’t be a complete Debbie Downer.) Hopefully, you’re not all three of those but if you’ve hit rock bottom, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
So now you’re trying to get out of the giant hole you dug. What’s next? Well of course, the old saying is still true…
The first step to getting out of a hole is to stop digging.
But I think I’m done with that cliche.
In Dante’s Divine Comedy there is a sign above the gates of Hell that read something like this…
Abandon All Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here
Sounds horrifying right? Well, I think that’s the point.
Here’s my new approach to treating addiction: ABANDON ALL HOPE!
So, is that what I’m trying to say? Hey, you’re an addict and you’re stuck in Hell, there’s no getting out, might as well give up?
No. Of course not.
Here’s what I’m trying to get at…
Hope is a good thing. It’s beautiful and inspiring. But sometimes, Hope becomes a trap for people. They don’t know what to do with it or how to use it.
In other words, you have to quit “hoping” things will get better. You have to start making them better.
I mean, you don’t want to just beat addiction and then live in your pod and eat your bugs. You want to really live life.
So here’s the deal. Success is momentum and you need to take some practical steps to build it.
Start by going to church. (An Orthodox Church of course). Admit you are powerless and ask God for help.
Next— your work. Do the simple things well. Be on time. Dress appropriately. Don’t gossip. Go the extra mile.
If you don’t have a job, find one. Even if it’s just part time.
You may need something easy that you can crush. In other words, something you can be really good at over time. If you’re flipping burgers, make your burgers the best flipped in the tri-state area.
Now, you’re making a little money and not spending every penny on drugs. Work on getting out of debt. Did you steal $100 from your grandma two years ago? Pay her back.
Listen to Dave Ramsey. Read The Millionaire Next Door. Start applying these principles.
Are you going to get rich flipping burgers part time? No. But you’ve got to get good at the small stuff. This is important.
Momentum matters.
Now, you need to find a way to connect to a greater purpose. Look for a good cause that you can support and believe in. Maybe this is your church. Maybe it’s your elderly neighbor that needs her yard mowed. Just pick something and don’t over think it.
Go to Celebrate Recovery meetings. Tell your story.
Your time is no longer yours. You’re either going to commit to the sacrifice or you’re going to continue down the path of destruction. This is your choice, not your addiction’s.
And that’s an important point: You have to make some decisions and own them. Stop beating yourself up due to the past and start carving out a future by working on the present.
It’s not going to be glamorous. You’re gonna feel tired and down. You’re gonna start to wonder if it’s worth it. You’re gonna start to want everything and want it right now. But that’s how kids think. You’re an adult, so start acting like one.
This momentum is going to build. You’re no longer going to be failing at everything. Instead, you’ll start have real success in your life. You’ll start to see potential where there was nothing but a giant black hole before.
Of course, there might be a few set backs here and there. That’s life. That’s how it works. Welcome to the real world. Face them head on and ask God to give you the courage and peace to endure them.
So that’s what I meant about giving up on hope. Not because it’s meaningless, but because it means so much.
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