Ever wonder what it would be like to be homeless, living out of your car, and clueless as to how you are going to feed your new baby?
I can’t even imagine what that must feel like. The worry, the fear, the panic.
It’s not the way I’d want to start a new year. It’s not the way I’d want to end a year. But reality is reality.
You can stop reading now if your life is on track and everything is going your way. Because if that’s the case, this is not for you.
I am writing today with everyone else in mind. Those struggling. Possibly in fear of financial ruin. Passed over for promotion, now looking at a lay off. Maybe it’s worse. Maybe your life has become controlled by drugs or alcohol. Maybe you are facing jail time. Or maybe you feel alienated because you have destroyed all the healthy relationships you have had in life.
Life can be difficult, strange, and beautiful all at the same time.
Think about the possibilities of life. Every day, you make decisions and on those decisions, a new path begins.
I have even read that some believe every choice you make creates a new alternate reality in which the other choice (the one you didn’t make) gets to play itself out.
Well the truth is, we live in the here and now. You don’t have to worry about what decisions you are making in some alternate universe. You only have to deal with the decisions you make in this reality. And this universe is difficult enough.
With all the choices we have, why is it some people don’t get to live the life they know they’d prefer?
What holds us back from living the life we want? It’s usually 3 things…
FEAR
Fear holds us back. It traps us. We are paralyzed by it.
But what are we afraid of?
Why do we care what other people think? Are we afraid of judgment? Are we afraid of failure?
What failure could possibly be greater than the failure of not being ourselves?
ANXIETY
We like to create scenarios in our mind. Scenarios that might happen. Scenarios that never happened. We attach emotions to these scenarios, and they begin to control us.
In these (fictional) scenarios, we always seem to forget just who we are and what we are capable of.
Anxiety is another form of fear.
APATHY
Ever heard the story of the man that died at 50? They didn’t bury him until he was 80.
Apathy is a lack of caring. But, I also feel it describes those people stuck. Stuck in a rut without the drive to get out. Completely capable of making a change, but just too lazy to do it. A wasted life.
People are born and then die. But not everyone truly lives.
Apathy is a vampire. It will drain you, day by day.
Of course, I can’t make you care.
But I know that if you are reading this, then you do care and you have already taken a step to defeat apathy.
Did you notice that these 3 things have nothing to do with our external circumstances? You see, the things that happen To Us only have the power that we allow.
Maybe you are reading this for entertainment. But, maybe you are reading this because you are ready for change.
What you’ve tried in the past hasn’t worked.
Well, this is the time. And now that you’ve identified the 3 things that hold you back, you are ready to move forward.
Let me tell you something: This is your year.
One of my favorite quotes from Bruce Lee is this:
To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.
It’s time to put a dagger in the heart of your fear, anxiety, and apathy.
It’s time to let your external circumstances wash over you like a cool breeze. Nothing but a mosquito. Annoying but unable to do any real damage.
It’s time to be YOU. Fearless, brave, bold.
So what is all this rambling about?
It’s time to say “to hell with circumstances, I am going to create my reality”.
You don’t need resolutions, YOU NEED RESOLVE.
We started this story with a person living in desperation. But she didn’t like the life she was living, so she changed it. In spite of being broke, scared, and homeless, she turned her life around. Her external circumstances didn’t stop her. And she was in control of her internal circumstances. She had resolve.
Now, she has a warm bed for her child, a job, food on the table, a loving husband, and she is drug free.
She changed her life into something better. She changed it with grit and resolve.
And you can change yours as well.
And because of that, you can have the best year EVER.
Why? Because the present moment is perfect. We have need for little else and our external circumstances have no control over us.
When we live in the present, we release ourselves from the anxiety of the future and the melancholy of the past. We are able to breathe deep and rest well for in this present moment, we are complete.
We have complete control over our sense of fear, anxiety, and apathy.
You can choose to live free: brave and bold.
Embrace the present, while anticipating the future. NOW is all you have and all you will ever need.
You can learn from yesterday’s mistakes, and you can plan for tomorrow’s future, but today is what you have. Right here. Right now.
What would your life look like if you could leave your fear and anxiety behind in the past and live today in the moment?
Imagine the possibilities. There is nothing standing in your way.
This isn’t meant to be some feel-good self-help post.
This is about the old year turning into the new year.
Your present state, taking a step into tomorrow. Where are you going this year? What exciting path awaits you?
Have more resolve than resolutions.
Let’s journey together.
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LOVE reading your writings! So here’s to the “hell with the circumstances”…maybe I should hang this quote in my office somewhere. Ha.
Happy New Year!
HaHa. Most definitely. 🙂
This is so motivating.
When you talk about fear, it seems you are talking about the fear of separation (abandonment, rejection, loss of connectedness, etc.). Fundamentally, I have viewed fear as an evolutionary trait that humans have used for survival. That prompts me to the question: Do you see any utiluty in fear? Can fear of rational threats keep us safe? i.e. Can fear of voicing one’s opinions publically on controversial topics keep one from recieving backlash from individuals, extending to one’s career (suspension to termination in the most extreme circumstances)?
That’s a great observation. In this post, I was mainly talking about fear of failure, fear of trying, or fear of doing something different with your life. Fear is definitely useful in certain circumstances and was necessary for survival in earlier times. t(Ex: You need to be afraid of tiger stalking you from behind, but if your fear paralyzes you from action, you’re dead meat). I read an article once that discussed fear from an evolutionary stand point. It mainly discussed the fear of standing out or being different from others. This same fear is the one that speaks in your ear “you’re not good enough”, “you will never succeed”, etc. It argued that at one time we needed to follow this fear, because if we didn’t we would be thrown out of our “tribe” and would likely die from our environment. But now we are past this survival need. This same fear that once guided and protected us can limit our current ability to continue to evolve in self awareness, accomplishment, happiness, etc.
As far as current fears from things such as loss of job, etc. I feel you have to keep your vision and goals in mind. In other words, if voicing your opinion is the right thing to do, do it. Despite the circumstances. But if you are wanted to voice an opinion just to let it be known and you might lose some benefit that you don’t want to lose, then I think you have to keep the big picture in mind. The key is realizing with both of these situations, you are in control and are the one making the choice. No one is keeping you back and if you choose to remain silent, you are doing it because it keeps with your current values.
Now, I only picked one situation (speaking out with controversial opinions) but I think the principle applies. Always keep your actions and personal values aligned. Keep your life vision in mind. The fear that leads to negative self talk “you suck” “you can’t do this” “you will never be as smart as so and so”. That fear needs to die!
Thanks for getting into this deeper. I love it.