I like to call myself a brutal optimist.

I don’t see the glass as half full or half empty.  I see it like this: Someone stole half my drink, but that’s okay, because I still have half left.

But I’m not naive.  There’s a world of people struggling with pain and depression.

The other day, I was leaving the hospital and I saw the funeral hearse parked out the doors.   Someone was having a much worse day than me.

All my family and friends were safe and healthy.  My problems didn’t seem so big.

Perspective is always important.

But what’s more important?

hope.

Hope is a powerful weapon in a world gone mad.

And I think it’s our job to spread the message.

How to Be A Brutal Optimist

#1 Focus on what matters

A recent conversation I had with a patient at the nursing home.

Me: How are you doing?

Patient: Not worth a damn.

Me: Anything I can do for you?

Patient: Get me some more apple juice.

It’s easy to get caught up with future plans.  Sports teams.  Politics.  Fake news.  Survival prepping.  Work outs.  Jiu jitsu.  Celebrity gossip.  Me, too.  Toxic masculinity.  Instagram likes.  Youtube views.  Facebook shares.  Book sales.  Etc.  Etc

We like to obsess, argue, trivialize, and philosophize.  We like to find our tribes and stick together.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of this.  But inside, it’s empty.

You need substance in your life.

Something to hold on to when the days get long and the road gets tough.

Nihilism is the philosophy that there is no ultimate meaning to anything.

It’s a by-product of atheism.

Nihilists can actually be very good people.  They just don’t think their good deeds matter.  They see themselves as walking corpses.  They see life as void and purposeless.

But the truth is….

Things are painful because things do matter.

They matter so much that they hurt.

You may not call yourself a nihilist.  But when life starts feeling hopeless, you either double down on the things that matter, or you give in to the undertow of despair.

#2 Follow the golden brick road…uh…I mean the golden rule

Treat other people the way you want to be treated.

That means in person. On Facebook. On Instagram. On twitter. On Youtube. Etc.

If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t say it.

Kindness is contagious.  But bitterness poisons the well.

If you spend time being negative, complaining, gossiping, cutting other people down…..you’re only going to feel miserable in the long run.

Being an optimist is not the same as being a pushover.

It also means standing up for what’s right.

Keep your sword sharp and hopefully you’ll never need it.

#3 We are the stories we tell ourselves

You’ll live out the story you tell yourself.

Tell yourself you’re a failure…

not good enough…

not smart enough…

not strong enough…

and that’s exactly what you’ll be.

It’s one of my pet peeves with Alcoholics Anonymous.  People have to say, “Hello, I’m Bob.  I’m an alcoholic.”

Now don’t get me wrong.  It’s important to have some self awareness.

But at some point every addict has to tell themselves a different story.

At some point they have to say, “Hello, I’m Bob and I have an AMAZING tale of recovery and redemption.”

Your mind will take you all kinds of places.

Try to steer as best you can.

#4 It’s okay to be a little weird

Be a little different and stop worrying about it.

This isn’t junior high.

You don’t have to impress anyone.

Just be yourself and be thankful for it.

There might be a reason you are the way you are.

And that leads me to my last point….

#5 Embrace your purpose

My house is in the middle of 50 acres of woods.

You can’t see it from the road.

As you come down our driveway…….it appears.

You wouldn’t stumble on this house and think, “Wow, this house must have evolved from chance!”

No, you would think: “This house is weird, I wonder why they built it like this?”

My house was designed and built with purpose.

And so were you.

And this may be the single most important thing to ever remember.

You were created and designed.

Your life has meaning.

And when you realize that…

I’m absolutely positively sure….

you’ll be an optimist…

just like me.

p.s.

I’ve had a lot of people ask where they can pick up a copy of my book.  You can get the ebook and/or paperback on amazon.  Or you can come to one of my clinics and pick up a signed copy.

I want to thank everyone for all the support.  It’s been a bit overwhelming.

Peace and Godspeed.

Be Kind/Be Weird.