Why You Sometimes Have to Run Away to Find Yourself

The car was stolen.

New Orleans was 200 miles away.

He was 12 and the future was in his hands.

“It’ll just sound like a cliche”

“What will?” I asked

“Why I was running.”  He grinned, trying to hide a darkness.  “My mom married a drunk and I got tired of getting beat on.”

The story doesn’t end there, but it’s enough for you to see the picture.

We’re all running from something.  Pain.  Trauma.  Rejection.   In the end, we’re all just scared kids.

At some point you have to stop running.  And face your demons.  Because a life of escape, is a life of hell.

Some people see everything as a physical problem.  Depression being nothing but a lack of the right chemicals.

Some people see everything as a spiritual problem.  A metaphysical morality loop.

But the truth is, all things are all things.  Spiritual and Physical.

We are connections.  Electrical signals and energy, flowing through the universe.  In the image of God we were made, and from this image we go forward.

A part of it all.

To seek after anything else, will leave us empty.

To chase the void, will only find chaos.

It’s good to have goals.  You want to be sober.  That’s good.  You want to be happy.  That’s good.  You want to love.  That’s good.

Now go and make it happen.

In other words, make sure you’re running to something and not just away.

There’s a lot of talk these days about what’s best for our lives.

Everyone seems to have an opinion.  No research needed.  No experience necessary.  No thought put in.  No sleepless nights.  Just opinion.

Journalists become the experts.  Doctors tell you what pills to take.  Politicians bring down the hammer.  Preachers argue over primary principles.  And we’re left to figure out what the hell to do with our lives and all the broken pieces.

With so many people telling you what you should do, what should you do?

Buddhists say life is suffering.  And to end suffering you embrace detachment.

In this case, maybe we should detach from looking into someone else’s mirror.  Maybe it’s time to take our own trip through the looking glass.

Someone told me the other day that they didn’t like who they were.  She always needed someone else around to fight off the loneliness.  Well maybe that’s good and maybe it isn’t.  But let me tell you what I think is going on.  I don’t think she truly sees herself.  In her mind, her only worth is the reflection in someone else’s eyes.  But I say, we should go deeper into our own.  Knowing the truth of our  manifestation, we discover awe.

Jesus said to know what’s in front of you before you go looking for something hidden.

Self truth is a brutal teacher.

To be happy, we’ll have to be content.  In this moment.  With nothing more than what we have.  The past is gone and the future doesn’t exist.  We only have now.

My friend tells me about New Orleans.  He tells me about getting arrested and sent back home. He tells me about the 40 years that have since passed.  He tells me about his stripper girlfriends.  He tells me about his drug use, his house in the hood, his bad luck.  He tells me about survival.

He tells me he’s lonely.

He tells me about his desire for something more.  Something more than this day to day living.  Something more than just staying sober.

Whatever that something is.

Either way…. he’s done running.

Godspeed my friend.

p.s.

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p.p.s.

Whatever you do….

Don’t read this book!