As a physician, I see first hand the importance of mental health and how it affects the physical body.
Many people come to me for help with various symptoms that can all be attributed to psychological dysfunction.
And no…this doesn’t mean someone is crazy. And it doesn’t necessarily mean someone is depressed but they might be.
A strong psychological foundation is necessary for solid health but unfortunately we aren’t always taught how to develop this.
Let me give you two examples that are all too common.
Example #1 Rebecca
Rebecca is 42 years old. She is anxious and agoraphobic. She is afraid to leave the house. Her PTSD causes flashbacks and nightmares. She is self described as an “emotional wreck”.
She has had numerous rocky relationships. The first notable one being her husband that she married at 19. He was 5 years older than her. Soon she became the target of his own insecurities. He began to use emotional torment to control her and eventually this would lead to full on violence and physical abuse.
Luckily she was able to escape and at 23 she was safely away from him. But leaving the relationship did not allow her to escape the torment. And she had to carry this “baggage” with her from one relationship to the next.
She began to suffer from post traumatic stress. She would self medicate with Xanax and alcohol.
By 30 she had been off and on with numerous men. Some better than others.
But it would seem that each time she thought she was getting her head above water, something tragic was right around the corner. A sick kid. A past due light bill. A dead battery in a car on a day she couldn’t miss work.
And so it goes.
She comes to me with chronic headaches, chronic fatigue, 3o pounds overweight, and a Xanax dependence.
What has led her here is not what you might think of as a series of poor decisions but instead a series of tragedies and a lack of psychological resources.
She has no reserve to pull from during the times she needs it most. This has left her emotionally fatigued and constantly looking for a relationship to fill the gap. The relationships don’t work and the cycle continues.
When there is a lack of what I’m calling psychological reserve, then the smallest tragedy can become as severe as a death of a loved one. The patient can not emotionally feel the difference.
Example #2 Hank
Hank is 56 year old male. He has a wife and 2 kids. He has a good job. His life to the outside world is perfect.
But for the last several years, Hank has had a “sinking” feeling. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He knows he should be happy but many days, he just doesn’t feel it. He wouldn’t say he was depressed, but that he just wasn’t anything. And to him, that’s the problem. He feels nothing.
But Hank doesn’t come to me with these problems. He comes for a different reason. He’s there because his buddy at work told him he needed testosterone.
Hank hasn’t cared about sex with his wife for several years. He thinks he’s just getting old. His buddy at work tells him testosterone replacement will make him feel like he’s 16 again.
This isn’t what Hank wants. And then he tells me he doesn’t know what he wants and that he doesn’t even know if he cares about living anymore.
Hank’s problem becomes the same problem as Rebecca’s.
His situation though, is vastly different.
Where Rebecca was never able to recover from tragedy after tragedy, Hank has never had a tragedy. He has never had to be strong and resilient. He’s never had to wrestle with what it means to live a good life. He has always just followed the path of least resistance. To him, happiness was life on the couch watching t.v. At least until it wasn’t.
And now he’s not sure what to do.
He’s losing his grip and is steeped in a deep depression. He doesn’t know that he can fight this because he’s never had to battle for anything ever.
Rebecca has never fought either. She has let her suffering run over her and never once thought she had the option of getting up and fighting back.
If we want to be super analytical, there are several things we can learn from their stories.
But the point I’m wanting to make is not to make a diagnosis but to show the importance of a strong psychological foundation. A mental fortress. A bulletproof brain.
I’m not saying this can protect you from adversity or immediately cure your depression. What I’m saying is, people like to ignore this aspect of their health.
And you ignore it at your own peril.
The reason I talk about mindset so much is not because I think it’s cute. Or that it looks good on Instagram. It’s not that I think optimism is the cure for depression.
Mindset is important because it prepares you for what’s to come.
You see… life is a battle. It’s struggle and pain and eventually death.
But you’ve got something that can help you prepare, fight, and win. Your mindset.
I call it brutal optimism.
Brutal optimism is my operation manual for a strategic life. My battle plan.
It’s the inert determinism that you’d rather die than quit.
The realization that you’ll go toe to toe fighting your demons.
And the idea that in this war, you’ll stand with a bloody axe in your hand and a grin on your face, ready for those that dare challenge.
You may read my examples and feel a kindred spirit with my patients. But believe me when I say that your hardships in life are not your fault but that doesn’t change the fact that your psychological health IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. And your ability to be stronger IS A REALITY.
I’m sharing this because just like Ben Franklin once said “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”.
So if you work on these things now…..you’ll be ready for tomorrow.
But how do you do this?
How do you make your mind stronger?
How do you develop Brutal Optimism and a Bulletproof Brain?
I’ll tell you how, but it’s not easy. And it won’t happen overnight.
Here’s how….
You train.
You train your mind.
And you focus.
Every day.
You meditate.
Every day.
You exercise. You do pull ups or run.
Every day.
You challenge yourself to find something to be thankful for. Even when things suck.
Every day.
You use reframing.
Every day.
You do something difficult. Even if you’d rather sleep in.
Every day.
You figure out a way to help someone that’s less fortunate than you.
Every day.
You use affirmations and positive self talk.
Every day.
You let go of attachments and expectations.
Every day.
You pray for more faith.
Every day.
You learn how to use the power of your mind to bend reality to your will.
Every day.
A step closer.
Every day.
A little stronger.
Every day.
A little better than the day before.
Every.
Single.
Day.
p.s.
Any similarities between you and the two examples are pure coincidence. Names and details were changed to protect the innocent. But if you’re really curious and would like to know just who these two people are, you can click the link HERE
p.p.s.
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