I was too short. Too ugly. Too average. There would be no great achievements in my life.
These are the lies…or uh….half truths that I told myself.
I don’t know how long I let self doubt control my life.
But one day is one day too many.
At some point I had to kill the impostor….and just be me.
And once I did that, I was completely free.
Our minds create our reality. What we believe to be true is what will be true.
What I mean is, the things you focus on will be the things that drive you. The more you think negative thoughts, the more negativity you will notice. It becomes a vicious cycle.
A limiting belief is something you assume to be true. And because of your assumption, you are limited in your ability to grow mentally, heal psychologically, or just push forward in your pursuit of happiness.
Limiting beliefs can sneak up on you. They creep into your mind and set up shop. So it’s good to take a look every now and then and identify any beliefs that are toxic to your self.
These 5 limiting beliefs will destroy your happiness, create a world of bitterness, and make you miserable.
Okay that was dramatic. But still……it’s true.
1) I can’t do this
Look, I’m not going to sugar coat this. I’m not about to tell you that you CAN DO ANYTHING you put your mind to. That’s silly.
But I will tell you that we use CAN’T way too often.
I can’t lose weight.
I can’t get out of debt.
I can’t eat healthy.
I can’t stop smoking.
The can’ts add up. They take over your subconscious. And soon, you start to believe the lies.
If you’re using this limiting belief, replace can’t with WON’T. And see how that reads. Once you realize that you’re just being stubborn, replace can’t with can.
Say it over and over.
Your brain will eventually believe it to be true. And that’s when the magic starts to happen. That’s when you’ll feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. That’s when you’ll start to see amazing changes.
2) Playing the blame game
Blaming other people makes our lives easier.
This is the world of politics.
This is the world of tribal rivalries.
This is the world of misunderstanding, fear, and anger.
You are where you are. Just accept it.
It doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault.
It may or may not be your fault. But that’s not what’s important.
So what’s important?
Not blame, but responsibility.
People come to me for help with addiction. Many of these people never had a chance. Their parents were addicts or absent or worse.
It can be easy to get stuck in this blame game. Maybe they blame their childhood trauma, or maybe they blame their doctor that gave them pain pills for years, or maybe they blame God. And sometimes they blame themselves so much that their world becomes a dark pit of self-loathing.
The ones that find success are the ones that stop worrying about who’s at fault and start worrying so much about how they got there and start figuring out how to get out.
They take responsibility. They accept ownership of their situation.
Blaming others for a fire in your house doesn’t stop the flames from burning. Deal with the fire and free yourself from the blame game.
Own your world.
3) Hating yourself
No one really hates themselves, do they?
It would seem that our biggest critic is our own self. Our biggest enemy, our own mind.
This idea puts a new spin on Jesus’s teaching to “Love your enemy” and to “Love your neighbor as yourself”.
Self criticism is not the same thing as self reflection. It’s okay to consider your weaknesses and your strengths. It’s okay to explore areas in your life that need improvement. But when your inner voice starts to emotionally abuse you, then it’s time to stand up for yourself.
Here’s how it normally goes down…
You make a mistake at home or work and you immediately start to call yourself names. “I’m an idiot.” “I never do anything right.” “I will never be able to make this work.”
You see where I’m going with this.
You start to use words for yourself that you wouldn’t use for you friends.
The answer is simple.
Stop.
When you find yourself being self critical, re-direct the conversation in your head. Talk to yourself like someone you respect, someone you care for, someone you love.
4) This is impossible
Another self limiting belief is the idea that things are impossible. Or that whatever you’ve set out to do can’t be done.
Most people give up before even getting started.
The world is infinite, with infinite possibilities.
Open your mind to the option of achieving your goal.
Maybe you’re thinking of going back to college. Maybe the job you want requires you to learn Spanish. But maybe you say to yourself…”That would be impossible.” It just seems too unrealistic. Maybe you start to think about all the road blocks, all the problems you’ll face trying to get what you want.
Can’t teach an old dog as yourself new tricks eh?
Are you dead already? Did I miss the funeral?
Get out of the impossible trap. Because the world is full of possibilities. It just depends if you’re willing to put in the work or not.
5) Now
I remember the old days. The days when you wanted to know something and you had to wait for 60 seconds while the modem connected to the internet. You went to YAHOO and not GOOGLE. You had to invest a little time in the search.
Now everything is right at our fingertips.
It is not a question of: will we have artificial intelligence? We already have it. Our phones and our brains have merged. It’s only a question of which drives which.
But anyway, I got sidetracked. I was talking about limiting beliefs.
And the last of our limiting beliefs is the fallacy of NOW.
We want things now. And when we can’t have things now, we think the things are unattainable. But they aren’t. They just might take a little time.
And if you really want to blow your mind, realize this….time is an illusion.
You might just have to be a little patient, put in some hard work, and wait.
And see what happens.
These 5 limiting beliefs hold people back more than they could ever imagine.
But now you know.
And as the Greeks used to say “Know thyself and thou shalt know all the mysteries of the universe.”
p.s.
Want to read my book…..or nah?
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