Some friends of mine are flying out today to go and build a well in El Salvador.
They’re trying to bring clean water to a small village in a foreign country, to a bunch of people they don’t know, will never really know, and will likely never see again.
To do this, they had to sacrifice money, time, and risk their own lives.
And for what?
Well one answer would be to help someone that needs help. And that’s true.
But there’s also an ulterior motive.
And it may even seem selfish.
The reason they’re doing this…..
is to be happy.
So consider this is a how to post. How to be the perfect hedonist.
Or….
How to be happy.
Or……
A HOW TO GUIDE FOR INFINITE HAPPINESS (ACCORDING TO JESUS)
But let’s get something out of the way first. Let’s talk about what happiness isn’t.
Happiness isn’t just pleasure. It’s not a dopamine spike. It’s more than just positive vibes.
I’m an addiction doctor. This means, I have treated people that chased pleasure for years. And I can tell you, they aren’t happy. And if I gave you a life time supply of chocolate or heroin. It wouldn’t make you happy either.
Now think about your biggest dream in life. Imagine finding a genie lamp and getting to ask for whatever you wanted.
Guess what?
That wouldn’t make you happy either.
Happiness doesn’t come from stuff or success.
Dead rock stars don’t lie. And the number of suicides in Hollywood mansions prove this point.
Okay so now that we know what won’t bring happiness. What will?
Well, that’s complicated.
Because there are some things you need. Clean water, food, clothing, shelter, safety.
Then maybe you can start to build relationships.
Then you can start to build on your personal dreams, etc.
According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, it’s a pyramid. He called it a hierarchy of needs.
But I think it’s more like a game of Jinga.
If you start to pull pieces out. Eventually it all falls down.
Buddhists say that the answer to suffering is to detach yourself from desires. If you don’t really want anything, then you won’t be sad when you don’t get it or when it goes away.
They say life is Impermanence. Because everything eventually goes away.
Philosophers might say it like this: Memento Mori.
In other words, remember…..we all die.
But Jesus has something a little different to stay about happiness and suffering.
In fact, He says to embrace suffering. And desire the things worth desiring.
He says it like this: Pick up your cross and follow me.
But he doesn’t just say that you’ve got to do a bunch of stuff here on earth so that when you die you go to heaven and then you’ll be happy.
No.
He says happiness is for here and now.
I have come to bring you life. And to have it more abundantly.
HOW TO BE HAPPY IN 5 SIMPLE STEPS (According to Jesus)
#1 Embrace Suffering
Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?
—Matthew 16:24-26
Self sacrifice is suffering for something greater than yourself.
It’s understanding that some things are difficult but worth it.
Because there’s a greater good.
And it’s worth fighting for.
And it’s worth dying for.
Here’s how Jesus says it in John 12:25:
In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal.
#2 Accept the Things You Can’t Control
“Has anyone by fussing before the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? If fussing can’t even do that, why fuss at all?
—Luke 12:25
Yeah, trust me. You can’t grow taller by complaining about it.
There are going to be things in life that are out of our control. Storms, betrayal, genetics, cancer.
But these things do not control our happiness. It’s our response that either chokes out our joy or allows us to overcome our circumstances.
How we react to what happens is more important than what actually happens.
True happiness comes from inside us.
Be mindful of how you respond to life’s emergencies.
And don’t sweat the small stuff.
#3 Do Not Define Yourself With What You Have
Speaking to the people, he went on, “Take care! Protect yourself against the least bit of greed. Life is not defined by what you have, even when you have a lot.”
—Luke 12:15
You aren’t your job.
You aren’t your bank account.
You aren’t the car you drive or how you cut your hair or how you grow your beard.
You are something else.
Created by the same God that designed the entire Universe.
The same God that made the sunset, the desert and the ocean crest. That’s the God that made you.
Define yourself by who you are in the eyes of your creator. Not what you have.
#4 $ell Your $#!T and Give It to the Poor
Sorry about the language but I have to throw in a few foul words to piss off the “religious” types. And I like to talk about Jesus to piss off the atheists. (I’m an equal opportunity offender)
Anyway….we were saying….
“Be generous. Give to the poor. Get yourselves a bank that can’t go bankrupt, a bank in heaven far from bankrobbers, safe from embezzlers, a bank you can bank on. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.
—Luke 12:33-34
Do you know the kind of people that like to say: Money can’t buy happiness? The rich kind.
Because if you’re poor and you don’t know how to get your next meal, you aren’t too worried about philosophy or religion. You’re worried about staying alive.
God has created a world of abundance. And it’s up to us to share the wealth.
There’s nothing wrong with money. But once you have your needs met, more doesn’t seem to make anyone happier. Somehow we have to end the empty pursuit of MORE.
Look at how He says in verse 32:
What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works.
When we’re always pursuing MORE. We miss what God has already given us. You can not be happy if you are not content.
It’s a strange truth. Getting more can’t make you happy but giving can.
What we’re talking about is giving money or time or skills to actually make a difference to a living, breathing soul. You don’t have to be perfect to do this. You don’t have to be smart, funny, talented, or good looking. All you have to be is willing.
I think what Jesus was saying was this:
- Get rid of your pagan gods.
- Invest in the things that matter. Your relationships. Family, friends, community.
- Be grateful for what you already have.
- Keep your priorities a priority.
- And value your values.
- And do something practical that helps your neighbor. (Like my friends going to El Salvador or all the people that helped contribute to make the trip possible)
#5 Take the Long View
When I started this blog, I called it The Long View.
It’s a throw back to the community I grew up in. But it’s also a philosophy.
Live in the moment but keep the big picture in mind.
In other words, LIVE WITH PURPOSE.
Here’s what Jesus said about the BIG PICTURE that He called God’s Kingdom:
Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself.
—Luke 12:31-32
He said the Kingdom of God was in our midst. Not some place to look for in the future. But a kingdom to live in NOW.
Happiness comes from within. It’s not something that happens to us.
It’s our mindset.
When we live with God’s purpose, we pursue a greater calling. And the mundane falls by the wayside.
Conclusion
Maybe life isn’t going how you planned. Maybe things haven’t worked out like you hoped.
Maybe you didn’t get that job promotion, or your diabetic medication is too expensive, or you have to postpone retirement because the stock market took a dive. Maybe your kid’s not talking to you, or you failed organic chemistry, or your husband left you, or your dad’s cancer came back.
Maybe your life is starting to feel more like a country western song than a romantic comedy.
Do not let your circumstances overwhelm you. Do not look outside for happiness.
Instead, seek God’s reality, God’s initiative, and God’s provisions.
The Kingdom is within.
There you will find your purpose.
And in your purpose, you will find happiness.
Let me leave you with this last point.
And I want you to listen carefully.
I know I’ve said similar things before. But I wouldn’t repeat myself unless I thought it important.
There’s more to this life than meets the eye.
God created you, designed you, and started something good in you.
And no matter how dark things seem to get.
He will finish what He started.
I promise.
p.s.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment, share, join the newsletter, blast me on social, bully me in person, submit me in jiu jitsu, make fun of me on twitter, rate my book on amazon, or subscribe on Youtube.
p.p.s.
If you’re interested in more of my rambling thoughts on philosophy, religion, and finding purpose… then you’d love my book. Because I wanted to make it accessible to everyone, you can get the paperback or the dirt-cheap ebook.
p.p.p.s.
Say a prayer for my friends as they bring water to the thirsty and embark on a journey of infinite happiness.
Peace.
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