You can’t stand at the edge without a small tension inside. The pull.
Jump or stay safe?
It’s the age old question.
Why do we feel an urge to jump?
It’s known as “The call of the void.” Or “High-place phenomenon”.
There’s different theories for why this exists.
Mis-wiring from your amygdala? Innate sense that the ground is safe? Problems with vertical vision adjustment?
Or maybe Sigmund Freud was right and we have a death wish.
Unfortunately, many people feel a pull towards death more strongly than a pull towards life.
Maybe it’s in their words, maybe it’s in their actions. But the call of the void hits them head on.
This doesn’t always manifest as depression or addiction.
I know people that feel the call more than others. They’re good people. They do the right thing. But to them there is no moral standard. No God to serve. To them there’s no difference in smoking meth, telling lies, or watching cartoons.
That’s their philosophy but they don’ live that out. In the real world they live like everyone else. By a code. They may curse the code but they follow it anyway. Maybe it’s their code. Maybe it was their parent’s. That’s why I said they were good people. They don’t steal, kill, or cheat on their taxes. But the void is inside them. Pulling them to jump. Because to them, nothing really matters.
So they slip into the comfortable existence of non-resistance. Because it’s safer there.
But I had this dream…
There was a child on a cliff that needed a home. But no one there to give him one.
Sometimes, the only way to save someone, is get up to the edge. As close as you can. And not fall off.
You see, the truth is, Nihilism got it wrong. It’s not that nothing matters. It’s that everything matters. And that is why life is so hard.
Because we’ve traded purpose and meaning for silk sheets and cheese puffs.
All our battles, wars, elections, sermons. And for this? For the latest Netflix special?
Yeah I know. That really doesn’t sound that bad. Because in the end, it is what it is.
You can blame your problems on lack of resources, bad timing, crooked politicians, or even self sabotage. But all this does is pass the buck.
I challenged someone the other day. I told him it was okay to smoke meth. Do it every day if needed. But whatever you do….DON’T LIE. To anyone. Especially your kids. If you say you’re going to do something, then do it. Follow this rule, and you will probably stop making so many useless promises.
He said he never intentionally lied to his kids. But there’s the rub. The key is the word intentionally.
My method for reaching him only works if a morality hierarchy actually exists. My method only succeeds if we agree that some things matter more than others.
Because the lies we tell become our apathy. Our slow demise. We separate ourselves from the other person. A few words at first. Then miles apart.
The small decisions you make are sometimes more important than the big ones.
When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark. Scared of monsters. Scared of ghosts. Scared of my own shadow. But now?
Now I stand in the dark. I see the monsters. I know what they are. I know what shapes the world. I know what poisons the well.
In the spiritual world, it’s the flesh that’s resurrected. And in this mortal world, it’s the spirit that must be reborn.
I pray the rosary. But without any beads.
We don’t have to argue over the truth. Not anymore. Either accept it or don’t.
For now we see as through a glass dimly. But there will be a time when all is made clear.
Do not rest solely on your standard. But raise your standard and live right. For this is your call. And what of it is so damn hard to understand?
The way is straight. The path is narrow. And all that see it know it. And all that follow it, fall. But make no mistake.
We all choose a road to walk.
And a ledge to stand next to.
p.s.
p.p.s.
If you’re curious about praying the rosary, here are some resources:
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known
1 Corinthians 13:12
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